GOT has reached the penultimate episode. It seems that the most messed up duo of screenwriters on the modern scene has decided to complete professional suicide with this pearl of entertainment. This episode does not deserve hatred or anger, I tell you as a friend rather than a reviewer, because you had to get angry first. Now is the time to laugh, because this episode, as it was written, can only make you laugh. Let's talk about the horrors of the script, then let's get back to the technical side of the episode.

Have you already read the review of the episode of GOT 4? You can find it Thu!

The end of the Master of Whispers Varys in GOT

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It seems that for Varys there is an episode between saying and doing. We saw him, in the conclusion of the last episode, talk to Tyrion about revealing Jon's secret. Seems to have wasted no time. This episode opens with the discovery of Varys' betrayal, guilty of having revealed the truth about the legitimate heir. As we can see, Darth Daenerys does not like this discovery, now in pain. Obviously his first instinct is to blame Jon Snow, because if he hadn't told Sansa all that chaos wouldn't have happened. Congratulations to the detective skills of the eyelash wig, truly remarkable.

At this point we have Tyrion's first slip, which goes from being an intelligent character to "Sansa trusts me". Let's repeat it slowly, in our heads: Tyrion should be an intelligent character and a political end.

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Unfortunately it is the poor Varys who pay the price, who after warning Westeros about the danger of being burned alive ... is grilled by the dragon. Now, dear Darth Daenerys, did it not occur to you that perhaps this behavior is causing the betrayal? Obviously not.

If I can't have Jon Snow's penis, then everyone's afraid of me

Men, when the woman you love, who has a dragon and an army, wants to have sex, it is dangerous to say no. Take the case of Jon Snow. To him this thing that Darth Daenerys is his aunt just doesn't go down. It applies, eh, for heaven's sake, but it just can't get an erection on this thing. The problem is that when your aunt is a Targaryen, and for them incest is a healthy recreational activity, and you're talking about why people don't love her, a refusal is a bad idea. This is what happens in the episode. After seeing yet another denial of Jon Snow at the idea, Daenerys essentially accepts that no one can love her. The natural consequence at this point is that everyone should fear it.

Jamie Lannister

I don't even know where to start with Jamie Lannister. There is so much disgust that my fingers stop on the keyboard. Let's start with memes, maybe so we can get into the mood of what there is to say.

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Jamie Lannister, the Exterminator of Kings, the one who threw his honor and an oath on life to keep from following the orders of a madman and exterminating thousands of innocent people, tells me that the innocent has never been treated . EH?

This last episode for Jamie was the quintessence of involution, to the point that the death of the character turns out to be an authentic relief. The most hopeful were of the idea that he had come down to King's Landing to kill Cersei but the most careful had already sensed the plot twist. Jamie forgets the fact that his sister wants him dead, forgets all his past and the choices he suffered and throws himself to the rescue of Cersei. He spends half a bet trying to enter the Red Fortress, although Tyrion has told him from the beginning how to do it, and then manages to arrive late. He reconciles with Cersei (reduced to an eighth category villain, with 4 lines of dialogue on the cross) and then dies. Many greetings to the prophecy that said that Cersei would be killed by her brother (which is why she hated Tyrion from birth).

The Patch Note GOT 8.05

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Incredible how, between the end of an episode and the beginning of the next one, a secret weapon becomes useless. Literally useless. We went from having the Scorpion machine gun, rechargeable in thirty seconds, to a complex war machine that requires five or six men to be used. Needless to say, Drogon makes it a really good barbeque of this nerfed version.

But if a single dragon managed to destroy practically all the walls by itself, wasn't it convenient with the three originals to take the city without making a massacre? You destroyed the main door, the troops were already few, and the problem was solved. Mysteries of the script. In any case, what in the last episode promised to be a long and difficult battle, turned out to be a one-way massacre.

Although they have been "decimated" by the battle in Winterfell, evidently Darth Daenerys manages, thanks to the Dark Side of the Force, to reprove the lost units. I openly accuse her of cheating. I miss in Age of Empire at age 7 I cheated so much.

The destruction of King's Landing

Much of the episode revolves around the city bells. These should symbolize, with their sound, the fall and defeat of the defenders. Tyrion particularly insists on this aspect for half of the episode. During the battle the desperate pleas of soldiers and citizens are heard to ring the bells and declare the surrender. Finally, while Daenerys and Jon's troops are committing war crimes, the surrender of King's Landing arrives. The soldiers lay down their arms and surrender. Jon accepts the surrender and prepares to demobilize.

Darth Daenerys, sitting with Drogon on the walls, contemplates his success. But she hears a voice in her head, something that calls her to the greatness of the Targaryen.

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After all, she never liked King's Landing. The GDP does not grow except with a large construction plan. The time has come to think about future generations. Are we sure that those homes are not abusive? Better to be sure.

Darth Daenerys at this point does what any "Good" character passed to the dark side with an embarrassing script would do.

King's Landing is destroyed by the dragon's fire. Citizens, guards, soldiers, no one can escape the Queen's fury. Jon is forced to call the retreat not to die in turn, as Drogon's flames are triggering the High Fire traps. Aerys Targarien's last wish, Daenerys' father and Jon's grandfather, has finally been fulfilled. They will all burn.

In Got what do we say to the God of Death? I have the invisibility cloak!

Arya Stark, secretly a descendant of the Peverell family, must have the invisibility cloak with her. In this episode, although towers, houses, palaces, dragons, flames, rocks, the blasphemies of the spectators have collapsed in her head, death cannot find it. No matter what happens to her, the writers have decided that she must hunt for 99% of the episode without suffering any damage. He has a plot armor so absurd that it is ridiculous. He will likely die from age after greeting Death as an old friend.

Cleganebowl

Finally, after eight seasons, we had the joy of seeing the clash between the Clegane brothers. Unfortunately, even in this case it is not free from slips and an improbable script. Ser Gregor, the Mountain, after having obeyed Cersei and Qyburn blindly for several seasons, decides that the time has come to stop with these antics when he sees Sandor in front of him. Qyburn is a victim of his own creation, a zombie of those with bows, and Cersei realizes that it is better if he goes to do the damsel in another castle. Thus we come to the most awaited event of the year.

Well yes, anyone who deludes himself that this is not the Cleganebowl deludes himself a lot. The brother scarred by the fire vs the brother returned from the world of the dead. Battle very well built, with Gregor showing his immortality on several occasions, except for a small detail. If nothing really seems to hurt him properly and not even a dagger on the head kills him, had Qyburn unwittingly created the perfect White Walker? Probably yes, but we will never know.

Got: Preview of 8 × 06

I don't know if any of you had the courage to see the preview but I have only one question: Other troops? But does Daenerys the Immaculates pull them out of the dress? I only make a prediction on the next episode:

GOT: Incredible direction and photography

Finally, let's move on to the good news. Although the director of the episode is the same one who gave us the worst episode ever, is also the one who directed this battle. Photography is simply a phenomenon, something that really manages to give incredible emotions. We manage to empathize with the citizens and the soldiers while we are on the front line of the massacre, or while a building destroyed by the dragon's fire falls on our heads. The shots are perfect, the plans exciting. Really, I have very little to criticize the technical aspect of the episode.

Conclusions on GOT

As I said, this episode deserves laughter. Laughter because I hope that after this performance as screenwriters, Benioff and Weiss will go back to script school and this time they will study. This season is so painful that someone has already announced that the "real" octave should come out next year and that this is a well-developed joke. See you again next year with Game of Thrones Brotherhood.