Do you feel inspired by the epic Battle of Cellina? Do you want to bravely face a henhouse of killer chickens? Here are some fun ideas that will do for you!

These days, the apathy of the red zone has been shattered by such incredible news that it was a real cannon shot. On a chicken coop. By an Italian army tank.
I mean, I don't think I have to tell you about the accidental event he saw a tank firing on a chicken coop in Pordenone. But, if you still don't know what happened, you can catch up on the news at this link.
It is a story that is at first glance very hilarious and that has been jokingly nicknamed Battle of the Cellina. Obviously, however, we are also aware that only by a stroke of luck there were no human victims. We hope, therefore, that whoever has so blatantly mistaken the aim at the shooting range, shooting towards the inhabited center, will suffer the necessary consequences.

Nonetheless, the story is so absurd to have made these days in semi-lockdown more interesting. The ironic memes are wasted and, on the role-playing front, the users of the Facebook group on Brancalonia (which you can find Thu!) went wild with the jokes.
In this situation of general hilarity, we want to contribute too, hoping to make the red zone less heavy.
So here are some narrative ideas to introduce a Cellina Battle in your role-playing games!

Explanatory graphic on the Battle of Cellina
Explanatory graphic on the Battle of Cellina

Useful resources for fielding killer chickens in the Battle of Cellina

First, here are some links where you can find useful stats for creating your own killer chickens in traditional RPGs.

  • In D&D 3.5, the chicken may have the raven stats, which you can find at this link. In fact, the description below reads: "The statistics presented here can describe most nonpredatory birds of similar size". And if you want a Dire Chicken, here it is at this link of fanmade statistics.
  • In D&D 4e, it is possible to have a totally fanmade Dire Chicken, which you can find at this link.
  • In D&D 5e, chicken has not yet been officially introduced. However, you can find some fanmade stats at this link. If you want to have Dire Chicken, at this link you will find another fanmade card. Also, don't forget that in this edition there are also i Abyssal Chickens (Abyssal Chicken), introduced in Descent into Avernus. Finally, I remind you that someone thought of making chickens a playable breed like April Fool's Day: you will be able to see their characteristics at this link.
  • In the first edition of Pathfinder, the chicken was officially introduced as a familiar in Bestiary 5, on page 112 of the English edition. You can find the statistics at this link in English and at this link in Italian.
  • Even in second edition of Pathfinder the chicken can be a familiar. You will find its characteristics at this link.
Other useful things

If you'd like to field chickens, but don't necessarily have them as a monster or NPC, here are some resources that might come in handy. As before, we're always talking about traditional RPG assets.

  • If you want to summon a group of chickens on your enemies, the first edition of Pathfinder is for you. In fact, here exists theMagic spell Crazy Monkeys (mad monkeys), which evokes a swarm of nuisance monkeys, which deafen and make the poor unfortunate nauseated and try to steal their objects. If you wish, you could reskinn this spell, thus summoning a swarm of chickens.
  • Another found by April Fool is the talent Chicken Infested. Introduced in issue 330 of the historic magazine Dragon, this talent allows you to pull chickens out of thin air, if you are a first level Commoner. We talk more about this talent on this blog. To this other linkinstead, you can see a fanmade reinterpretation for D&D 5e. Here is the original description:

Chicken Infested
You've got chickens.
Effect: Whenever you draw a weapon or pull an item out of a container, you have a 50% chance of drawing a live chicken instead. No, we don't know where the chickens come from; it's your character.

Abyssal Chickens are a great twist to play the Cellina Battle
Abyssal Chickens are a great twist to play the Cellina Battle

When deviled chicken is too literal (D&D 5e)

From the peaceful village of Thelina, rather isolated in the mountains, there has been no news for a few weeks now.
The inhabitants of the nearby village of Barce ask a group of passing adventurers to check what happened. Adventurers will find Thelina half-destroyed and the remaining inhabitants perched in the small village church, the only stone building.
In the streets, strange bipedal beings, blind, hairless and with sharp teeth. And about the size of a chicken. A chicken that, when it points your nice calves, starts drooling. They are obviously gods Abyssal Chickens.
Who is the idiot farmer who thought of doing a dark ritual to have more plump chickens?

Chaos in the chicken coop. Literally (Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay)

The valiant imperial army is conducting an exercise in the Reikland countryside. The characters are tasked with going to see where the bullet fired from the steam tank's cannon has gone.
Incidentally, they hit a nearby farm inhabited by people secretly devoted to Chaos. Feeling attacked, the cultist peasants have summoned their dark protectors they have owned chickens the barnyard.
The wicked birds are now ready to take revenge for the wrong they have suffered.

The Battle of Cellina: Chickens VS Centauri (any system)

There is a certain turmoil in the Cellina Plains and this instability is bad for trade. The mayor of the town of Claut will send adventurers to investigate.
The uproar is caused by a territorial dispute between the gods tribe Centaurs, led by the Centaur Bacchus, and the Druid Rosita.
Rosita, in fact, has taken a flock of lively hens under her protective wing. But his beloved chickens are growing and need new territories to expand into.
The Centaurs are not happy to have to share the Plains of Cellina with these rowdy birds.
Will the adventurers manage not to start a terrible fight?

Cover image: Henrietta da GS09 - Grimslingers: Character Card Pack e future TANKS by Artem Sidorov.